Bring the boys to the table, period!
I refuse to be part of the silence of a world that has raised most people in ignorance. A world where relevant conversations have become mostly secret, and an unpleasant situation where one person's curse and the burden they have to bear.
Who said boys should be excluded? Why is it okay for most boys to be apathetic? Do we understand that it also affects them and becomes part of their entire life? It is quite damaging. However, is it okay to start the repair now?
You're probably wondering what all these questions are. I'll tell you a short story.
Years ago, a sanitary towel company came to my middle school. Women were asked to move to the auditorium and men to the playing field. The boys played on the soccer field while we (the girls) sat and learned about body changes, the menstrual cycle, and everything that goes with it.
“Sit down properly and clean yourself and the house. Your duties are this and that. Oh, and if you touch a man you'll get pregnant.” Many of us received such terrifying pep talks in our youth. But it was only for girls. The boys were not included in the conversation or responsibility.
The first day a girl was defiled in my class, she was embarrassed. Not because all her girls would laugh at her, but because she felt her boys didn't need to know what she was going through. It felt like a taboo. She sat for a long time thinking about what to do, but the dirt from the heavy currents was getting worse and worse. When one of her male classmates who tried to sneak out noticed the stain, it became a topic of discussion among the boys in the class and she was given the tag “The Woman with the Blood, Bloody Mary, and Ketchup Problem.'' was added.
She did not return the next semester. Looking back, she wonders if she has become the kind of woman who plays out the Mission Impossible scene in the movie where she hides her sanitary pads in her bag at the office and sneaks into the bathroom when it's time to change. To hide the fact that she is on her period.
If my period hadn't been the first to say “hello” to me in the comfort of my home, I might have been given a terrible name, too. The only reason I had any idea that I was “becoming a woman,” in my aunt's words, was a few weeks ago when I got into a scuffle with my brother, and the fist he threw accidentally hit my growing body. Because it hit me in the chest.
It was a special kind of pain. Because the floor welcomed me, I screamed loudly, clenched my chest, gave way to my legs, and my aunt came running. My mom finally briefly explained to me the “You're growing up, that's why it hurts” conversation, but at the same time, she was preoccupied with law school and my dad was busy with work. No one would seriously talk to me about my early adolescence because I was so obsessed with it.
That faithful Saturday morning, I woke up to blood stains on my bed and ran into my mom's room crying, screaming over and over again, “Mommy, I'm going to die.” I'm still grateful that she didn't make fun of me. She hugged me and apologized for not telling me sooner. She gave me a long explanation of what was going on, gave me sanitary pads, and told me to prepare them every month. Then I moved on to the most difficult period (adulthood), recognizing the changes in my body and mood caused monthly by periods, having insightful conversations with other women, and researching information on the internet.
Please list any objections you have. However, I strongly believe that all boys should be taught about periods as well. Most of the bullying and stigma surrounding menstruation comes from uninformed boys. The majority of men who do not know how to help women during their menstrual cycle are ignorant boys.
I still remember the girl who was stigmatized and given the nickname Ketchup because of her menstrual stains. I wonder if she ever sat and clenched her fists or stomach, sweating and shaking, or fainted in intense pain when no one around her understood her situation. I wonder if I ever lost one.
She now understands that it's okay to say at work, “I have severe cramps and can't bear this presentation, or I'd like to postpone this meeting.'' I wonder if there are any.
I wonder if she has a boyfriend who feels like she should get through her “curse” every month alone and not involve him. I wonder if her boyfriend is telling her this, like so many of her others. Please do not come if you are on your period. ” She is married and has children, but her husband doesn't know what to teach her daughter about the menstrual cycle.
Jumping out of bed, screaming, whining, feeling violated, feeling irresponsible and careless when a woman soils the bed with her period; Suffice it to say that most of the men who do this are ignorant boys.
You can't equip a girl properly, give her all the information and tools she needs for life, and then send her out into the world with a boy she knows nothing about. The boy ends up damaging her emotionally and psychologically. A person who is raising a daughter with zero information.
Why not educate and properly inform all genders without discrimination? Why not take real steps to curb the bullying and prejudice that girls and women suffer from things that are beyond their control? How about that. Is it as natural as going to bed and waking up? How can period poverty and prejudice be curbed through proper information, education, awareness and policy planning?
What would happen if boys, like girls, were made to fully understand this process called menstruation? If boys and men understood that some girls have it easy while on their period, while others don't, life would be different today. How will your career and business environment change? How do they tell the women in their lives that when she gets defiled, it's already stressful enough for her and he shouldn't make it worse by openly or silently mocking her? Can you relate to this? What if they understood that some people die from menstrual pain and its complications, and that kindness in times like these can go a long way to helping girls and women?
What would happen if boys understood the hormonal disruptions that women experience? Mood swings and sometimes excruciating pain, cravings, and mental stress? If a woman knows how expensive sanitary napkins and sometimes medicines are, how stress and other factors can prolong a woman's menstrual flow suddenly or suddenly. Will it be confusing?
Imagine a world where a woman wakes up in a biologically stressed state and the men in her life (brother, boyfriend, husband, friend, father) ask her to rest. He soaks the dirty sheets, gives her a bath, helps her prepare the sanitary napkins, offers her what she wants to eat, listens to her story and calmly takes her mood, and makes the sanitary napkins. Help her buy things and items, and play her favorite songs and movies. , and constantly checking on her? Part of the world will be better, and most girls will agree with me on this.
In conclusion, menstruation is something that no one, regardless of gender, should feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk about. Parents, guardians, and those in charge of children should not wait for it to happen without the child knowing, or wait until the older sister experiences it before telling her younger sister.
If the boy doesn't fall in love or get married, if he doesn't have a sister, if he doesn't go to school, if he doesn't work with women, if he has female friends, if he doesn't share public transportation or planes, if he doesn't have any encounters I would do something like that. The internet, or my daughter. He will definitely come into contact with the opposite sex in some way. Save him from his ignorance.
ALEXANDRA ASOGWA, popularly known as “ALEX UNUSUAL,” is a multi-brand influencer, filmmaker, creative writer, model, and lifestyle vlogger. The New York Film Academy alum is the host of Unusual Fest, an annual anti-bullying advocacy festival featuring fun activities and training for kids and adults.
Source: guardian.ng