Psychologists give insight into the rise in incest

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A few months ago, social media went viral with a video of a 25-year-old woman fighting with her father, who plans to remarry after her mother died years ago.

She wasn’t just protesting because she wanted her father to remarry. She was fighting because her father is the love of her life.

According to her, her father deflowered her and started sleeping with her when she was 17 years old, and since then she has never known a man other than her father. She was heartbroken to learn that her father was planning to remarry her after thwarting four men who tried to marry her.

The woman openly told her father that they intended to live together as husband and wife and raise their children, and swore that as long as she lived, her father would never marry another woman.

Just when Nigerians were coming to terms with this bizarre act of public shaming, another video of a woman sleeping with her son and trying to stop the evil act. has also spread to the world of social media.

The woman, who identified herself as Mrs. Nweze, was fed up with sleeping with her son, who identified herself as Obinna, and wanted to stop the act. According to her, her son tricked her into doing the act. He told her that he was in a certain line of business and that he would either sleep with her mother and witness the progress of her business or die.

According to the woman, out of love for her son and not wanting him to die, she succumbed to his amorous demands and started sleeping with him, but years later there was an act of incest. It is said that her husband found out about her. and walked out of her marriage out of shame, anger, and frustration. She had two other sons, who were also angry and ashamed of her actions and sought help to reconcile her with God and her family.

Of course, in 2022, the story of Matina Agaua, the woman in Nasarawa State who seduced her own son into her bed just to get pregnant for her husband, is still fresh in our minds. Matina lost her first husband and the father of her eldest son to herdsmen attacks in Benue State.

According to reports, she remarried several years later, but had trouble having children with her second husband, James. After six years of marriage and no children, pressure from her mother-in-law and threats from her husband to marry another wife made her question whether she could get married. To find out, she decided to have sex with her own son from her first marriage. her second husband’s child.

Sexual activity between close relatives has increased in recent years and is a source of great concern for many people.

It is so prevalent in Nigeria that sexual intercourse between father and daughter, mother and son, or brother and sister is taboo and abhorrent, and just as the mother gets pregnant, so too does the daughter. She is pregnant and giving birth to a child for her father. and bear children for her sons. Just as an uncle sleeps with his nephew without any hindrance, a sister becomes pregnant for her brother.

In July 2023, a 46-year-old man identified as Jude was arrested by the police on suspicion of impregnating his two daughters from Ikwa community in Chief Zuba Dam, Gwagwalada Local Council, Federal Capital Territory, Abuja.

A neighbor who identified himself as Idris said the incident became public after one of his daughters reported the incident to her fiancé, a police officer in Minna, Niger state. Prior to his arrest, the defendant’s father allegedly conspired with his wife to terminate the pregnancy.

“In fact, when the man was taken to the police station, his wife was trying to cover up the matter, but the daughters opened up and revealed how their father had been sleeping with them and how she had gotten pregnant. I told him that I had had an abortion.” My neighbor narrated it to me.

Also in March this year, men from the Ogun State Police Command arrested 43-year-old Abiodun Oladapo on suspicion of impregnating his 19-year-old daughter.

Mr Oladapo, who was arrested following a complaint filed by Mr Oluwatoyin Idowu at the Mewe District Police Headquarters, blamed the devil for his actions.

The victim, who was five months pregnant at the time, told police that her father was the reason for her pregnancy. She said her father had been sleeping with her since February 2022 and had threatened to kill her if she let anyone know.

Sexual relations between father and daughter, son and mother, sister and brother, or close relatives are considered taboo and abhorrent. Every culture hates it. Just as God punishes criminals, so too do humans inflict severe punishments on criminals, ranging from imprisonment to banishment, or even the death penalty in some places.

However, despite God’s and society’s punishments for the criminals, this dastardly act seems to be on the rise. The practice is so alarming and rampant that many women bear children for their fathers, while others perform series of abortions without telling the fathers.

In an attempt to explain the causes of this immoral and shameful act, Dr. Leonard Okonkwo, a consultant psychologist at the Lagos State University Ikeja Teaching Hospital, said in an interview with DAILY POST that we first need to understand that sex is instinctual. He expressed the opinion that there is. .

According to him, sex is biological, but regulated by norms.

“So people grow up and learn different ways to respond to their sexual instincts,” he explained.

Inferring from psychoanalytic theory, he said, girls become strongly attached to their fathers around the age of three, and if the father does not manage this attachment well, the father may also tend to rebel against it.

“And his attempts to reciprocate will result in an immoral relationship between the two of them,” he continued.

Explaining this theory in detail, he said: “This theory talks about different stages of psychosexual development. There is a stage where there is some kind of attachment between father and daughter. Around the age of three.

“At that stage, an attachment develops between father and daughter. It’s called the Electra complex. Like I said, even if a more mature father doesn’t know how to handle such a situation, , because sex is biological, cognitive, and psychological, he begins to respond to that special attachment, which can now grow into something erotic or romantic.

He also said that recent developments were due to the abandonment of previous collective living patterns and the current individualistic lifestyle.

He said this allowed men to serially desecrate their own daughters without third parties knowing.

he said: “Sex has to do with social norms. Through a learning process, we grow up to react differently to them. Society sets certain boundaries for individual behavior, but when they don’t, there are many things that go wrong. Incest is not limited to our generation; it has always been there, for example in the case of Lot and his daughters in the Bible.

“So social regulations have kept incest in check, but I think you would agree that over the years these social norms have eroded.

“Cultural values ​​are becoming weaker and weaker, and people are starting to live more individualistic lives. They are therefore left to their own judgment, thinking and approach.

“For example, back in the day when people lived among other people and families, people would come and go. Everyone knew what was happening to everyone else, and such things were It served as a check on some of these restrictions that were imposed. But we see that some of these restrictions are becoming weaker and weaker. People are leading more and more private lives. . They live alone without any checks, which gives them the opportunity to commit incest unhindered by anyone.

“Of course there are laws against it, but then who are the laws? The law enforcement agency, the police, can go door to door to check if anyone is sleeping with their daughter unless they get a complaint. There’s nothing to do. And where’s anyone to complain? They don’t exist anymore because people live individualistic lives these days.”

He also said the scourge is due to the erosion of social norms in favor of Western culture and the encouragement of fantasies that make criminals believe there is nothing wrong with what they do.

He said, “Another factor in this immorality is the erosion of social norms. There’s also a lot of stuff that encourages fantasy, people thinking in fantasy worlds. did.

“A lot of these things, especially coming from the Western world, make it seem like there’s nothing wrong with this behavior. That’s why we’re seeing a surge in pornography, for example. It’s the most visited site, and on many of these porn sites you’ll find these things happening between fathers and daughters, and it’s fun and great and probably worth experimenting with. It creates an impression.

“And to make it seem like nothing is wrong. That triggers the instinct that’s already there to feel like there’s nothing there and of course it’s worth doing.”

But if fantasy makes criminals think their actions are right, why do they hide that they are doing it?

Dr. Okonkwo further added, “Even if the fantasy misleads them that there is nothing wrong with the act, their conscience still tells them it is wrong. And there are also laws that prohibit it. This is a crime.” And if they are caught, they will be punished.”

He also noted the emphasis on sexual freedom. This isn’t helping to solve the problem. But if that’s the case, then you ask why isn’t everyone doing it since it’s common?

“Today, the promotion of the issue of sexual freedom by some organizations is another reason why homosexuals have the courage to come out in public and say they have the right to do so. .”

Dr. Okonkwo further added: “Homosexuality didn’t start today. It’s been there. It’s a practice that’s been around since ancient times, and it’s been a practice that should be condemned all that time, but it’s a practice that we identify and fight for our rights.” It started gradually with people showing up.

“Homosexuality was once included in the International Classification of Diseases as a mental illness, but due to strong lobbying by homosexuals and gay organizations, it no longer exists.

“So, someday, there may be people who claim a father’s right to sleep with his daughter. But like I said, that’s a crime. I can’t say I’m going to do it. I don’t want to come out. If we do, we’ll get arrested and prosecuted. So it’s not something people can come forward and say we’re doing.”

In the past, some men are known to have slept with their daughters under duress, but far too many women willingly sleep with their fathers.

Some legally married women sleep with their fathers.

For this category of women, Dr. Okonkwo said: So, first and foremost, it’s rape, consensual or not.

“But it’s complicated for those who are willing to do it, you know, it started when they were young. This is what I talked about about attachment that happens along the psychosexual stages, and it’s appropriate to If you don’t deal with it, it can lead to obsession, and it just continues.”

But does this shameful act have anything to do with mental illness?

he said: “Now that you mention it, what is a mental illness? A mental illness is an abnormal behavior. Any behavior that is not normal is abnormal.

“So do you think it’s normal for a man to sleep with his daughter and a woman to sleep with her son? No, it’s abnormal. So if it’s not normal, that person needs help. Mental. Not all diseases are insanity.

“But there are also problems associated with behavioral abnormalities, and you need help, especially if you have uncontrollable urges to do certain things that are not normal. It’s abnormal behavior.”

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Source: dailypost.ng