Our correspondent speaks to adults about how they will react if they find out their partner had a child before marriage and did not tell them
That will be deceitful – Mr Itekena Chepaka
It will be highly deceptive of anyone to do that. The first thing one should do in a union is to reveal whether or not they had a child before. They must be open about it. What if I don’t have the capacity to take care of the child? What if my parents will not permit it? I will not throw the child away but I will be wary of such a partner because there may be more she is hiding.
I won’t let that mar my union – Pat Hart
I don’t pray for such to happen, but if it does, I will not let it affect the union. I will first ask him why he refused to tell me. He has to tell me a reason. When he does, we will discuss the welfare of the child and how I, as his wife, will take care of the baby as well.
I will accept child and mother
I will accept both the child and my wife despite what has happened. I can’t abandon my wife because of that. I will also keep the child. There is nothing like an illegitimate child. The deed has been done.
It’s not the end of the world
I am a Christian and I believe that God will not give me what I cannot handle. I know such will not happen in my home but if it does, it is not the end of the world. I will pray about it and make sure that God is in full control of the situation.
It’s not what I pray for
I don’t pray for such at all because it will be disappointing. Putting all of one’s hope and love on one person and having it dashed like that can be a major source of heartache for couples, and I hope that won’t be my portion.
It’s in his past – Joy Peters
All those are in his past. It will hurt at first but I will make sure we talk about it. If the mother of the child is willing to take care of him/her, I will be there as a support. My husband must also support me. The deed has been done. We just need to manage it so it doesn’t ruin our marriage.
It’ll break my heart – Goddy Godson
My heart will be broken. I love kids but I feel every woman should know that they must be open to their partner. No one should deceive the other person for any reason. I will speak to her about it and we will work out a modality but it will be very hard to trust this person again.
God will intervene – Mabel George
I believe in God to handle such an issue. I will pray about it first because it was God who brought me into this union, and I am sure he will not let me down. But, as a human being, it will be disappointing because it is not what is expected of an adult. Whatever has happened in the past that has the tendency of hurting the future should be made bare to the other party so there are no surprises.
My children’s welfare mustn’t be affected – Patience Ogheneweware
It is very painful. But I may not necessarily break the union. I am sure we will have issues. I just want the child to be healthy, but inasmuch as it does not affect the welfare of my child, I don’t mind.
I’ll accept child as mine – Chukwuneke Augustine
I will take the child as mine. I may tell her to drop the child off at her parent’s home. It’s either one of the two but, personally, I will take the child as mine. Children are gifts from God.
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